


Striking A Deal

by tymedfire



Series: Knights & Merlin (+ Gwen) [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I'm Sorry, Kinda?, PERCIVAL IS NOT A VILLAIN, and also my roommate loves him and would move out if I hated him, he’s just struggling, this is in no way an anti Percival bc I love him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 20:24:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16271696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tymedfire/pseuds/tymedfire
Summary: When his mind caught up with his body, Percival was standing with his hand in a fist, Merlin on the ground below him, one hand cradling his face and looking at Percival in shock.





	Striking A Deal

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! Enjoy! (Also, I'm sorry)

Percival was on edge. It was just one of those days where everything seemed to go wrong, compounded by the fact that it was nearing the anniversary of his family's deaths. His size and strength had always made people wary of him, and that was something that he hated, so he tried his best to always be as un-menacing as possible (unless he was in battle), but with everything piling on his nerves, holding in his temper was becoming increasingly difficult. 

He was a gentle man, he really was. He knew his own strength most of the time. He had a good handle on it. Except when he was really emotional. When that happened, Percival made sure to seclude himself. He’d hide himself in his chambers or in an empty hall until he could work through it. He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he had faked an illness more than once when he felt he couldn’t be around people. 

Today, that was what he did. Or what he’d thought he’d done. He hadn’t counted on Merlin. 

Then again, very few people ever did.

He had hidden himself away in a part of the armory that was almost never used anymore. There were very few weapons in the room; it mainly housed a few old benches and, curiously, a spindle. Percival liked it. 

He hadn’t counted on Merlin using his hide out also. He hadn’t even thought Merlin knew about it. (Which, in hindsight, was ridiculous. Merlin knew more about the castle than Arthur did.) 

He was hunched over himself, back to the door, trying to let his frustrations out through tears, when Merlin walked in. Percival had immediately stiffened, but hadn’t turned around. 

“Oh, I’m- I’m sorry, I’ll- Percival?”

Percival’s heart sank. Merlin had recognized him as a friend in distress. There was no way he would leave him alone now. Sometimes Merlin was too selfless for his own good. 

Like seemingly everything that day, this just irritated Percival further. 

“Percival, are you alright? You’re shaking. Are you hurt?” 

Percival sighed, but didn’t turn around. He tried, desperately, to get Merlin to leave. “No, Merlin, I’m not hurt. I’m fine. If you could just… give me a moment alone?”

He could feel Merlin’s hesitation, and apparently Merlin could hear the tears in his voice, even if he couldn’t see them. “I don’t think you’re alright, Percival. Do you need someone to talk to? I could go get someone, or take you somewhere, if you wanted. Or you could talk to me?”

“I don’t want to talk. Please go.”

“Percival, talking usually helps you. I know it does.” The worst part was, he wasn’t wrong. Talking did usually help him, but the thought of talking to someone in that moment was repulsive. “Just let me help you.” Merlin, who had apparently walked closer as he spoke, laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

Percival reacted before he could even think about it, the days frustrations and grief and years of knights training moving his body before he could process what he was doing. 

When his mind caught up with his body, Percival was standing with his hand in a fist, Merlin on the ground below him, one hand cradling his face and looking at Percival in shock. 

Percival sucked in a horrified breath and immediately reached for Merlin. He really shouldn’t have been surprised to see  Merlin flinch away from him. He wasn’t surprised when Merlin silently, but quickly, stood, picked up the basket he had brought to the room, and left with his hand still clutching his face. He  _ was _ surprised that he didn’t see any fear in Merlin’s eyes. 

All that he saw was heartbreak.

The door closed and Percival wept.

 

\--

 

Once he had no more tears to shed, Percival felt hollow. The only sort of emotion he could feel was surprise that Merlin had been conscious, because he was sure he hadn’t held back when he hit him. The thought barely entered his mind when it slipped away. He felt as if he were underwater, not even fighting to get to the surface. 

It was hours later, when Percival was back in his chambers, that what he did really hit him.

Oh God. He  _ hit Merlin _ . He hit his friend.

All at once, his energy returned to him and he shot to his feet. He needed to find Merlin. He needed to apologize. He needed to beg for forgiveness. 

As quickly as it came, his energy drained and he slumped back onto his bed, his head cradled in his hands. Would Merlin even want to see him? He definitely didn’t deserve Merlin’s forgiveness, if he was even willing to give it. (Distantly, Percival knew that Merlin would forgive him. He could never hold grudges against anybody who wronged him. He only did that for his friends.) God, Merlin was  _ so small _ . Merlin had always projected so much confidence, even at his clumsiest, it was easy for Percival to forget how small he really was. He always came away from danger without a scratch. It was difficult to remember that he was fallible. Percival could easily crush him like a twig. And he’d hit him.

Percival didn’t deserve to be a knight. Arthur should never have-

Dread and horror filled Percival anew.  _ Arthur _ . Merlin would tell Arthur. Maybe not initially, but Arthur would see Merlin’s face, where there was sure to be a large bruise, and he would demand an answer. Arthur would send guards for him, he knew, at the very least. Hurting Merlin, especially unprovoked, though he would be hard pressed to admit it, was not something Arthur would stand for. Especially not from one of his knights. The only thing worse would be to hurt Gwen. He would be severely punished and he would lose Arthur’s respect.

He deserved it. The only thing he could do now was wait for his sentence to come down.

 

\--

 

When the pounding on his door finally came, it was the next morning, and the person doing the banging was Gwaine.

Blinking blearily, Percival threw the door open. He was greeted by a grinning, if perplexed, Gwaine saying, “I thought I was supposed to be the one late for training, and  _ you _ be the one to fetch  _ me _ .”

“I… training?” Percival asked in confusion. Gwaine wrinkled his nose at him.

“Did you go out drinking without me last night? Yes, training. The training that started ten minutes ago. That you’re late for. You’ve got the princesses panties in a twist, so hurry up, Big Man.”

At the mention of Arthur, Percival jerked into action. He was incredibly confused. Gwaine was there to take him to training? He was still allowed to train with the knights? Perhaps Arthur meant to publicly humiliate him for what he’d done. He couldn’t really fault him for it. He deserved it. 

The first thing Percival spotted when he and Gwaine stepped onto the training field was Merlin. He was sitting on a bench polishing armor as he usually was during training. Most of the left side of his face was purple and black and blue. Guilt just about swallowed Percival whole. He didn’t look up when Arthur shouted Percival’s name across the field, but Percival saw him tense. 

“Why are you late?” Arthur asked Percival, sounding the slightest bit concerned. Percival wanted to throw up. 

Gwaine clapped him on the shoulder and said jovially, “Percival got into his cups last night a bit too much. And he didn’t even invite me! I think that’s deserving of a little punishment, aye?” Gwaine’s eyes twinkled with mirth. 

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Yes, well, nobody asked what you think, Sir Gwaine.” With that, Arthur turned and called for training to begin. Gwaine grinned and dragged him forward, but Percival glanced over his shoulder at Merlin before they started. 

Merlin was looking straight at him, but the expression on his face was not what Percival expected. He’d expected hate. Reproach. Accusation.

Fear.

What he saw was concern. Merlin was looking at him with concern plain on his face. Percival found he couldn’t hold the eye contact. Instead, his eyes strayed down to the bruise on his face. The bruise he put there. Tears of shame burned in his eyes.

He turned away. For the rest of practice, he swung his sword as lightly as possible.

 

\--

 

After training, Arthur and his closest knights dined together, as they usually did. Now and then, Queen Guinevere would join them. Today was one of those days. Percival usually enjoyed the camaraderie these lunches afforded. It reminded him of having meals with his family.

Today, the crowd was stifling. 

After all the food was served, Merlin sat with them, as he usually did. Gwen had pulled him down beside her and begun to fuss over his face, to which he just blushed and assured her he was fine. Arthur gave him a dark look and grumbled something about “prideful manservants who wouldn’t do what their king ordered”. 

Percival ate very little. 

Gwaine joked about Merlin roughing the other guy up even worse with all the bar fighting techniques he’d taught him. Even Merlin laughed at the ridiculousness of the statement. Percival put his hand over his mouth to try and hold back bile rising in his throat. He was joking about his inability to fight back even after Percival  _ hit him with no provocation _ .

Arthur smiled and glanced around at his knights. When his gaze landed on Percival, his eyes narrowed to his hand. He looked at Merlin, then back at Percival’s hand. He froze. Percival’s heart stopped. Arthur met Percival’s eyes and he could tell that Arthur could see the guilt plain on his face. He didn’t try to hide it. The smile slid off Arthur’s face, replaced first by shock, then something closed off and hard. When he spoke, his voice was cold and deadly.

“ _ Sir _ Percival. What happened to your knuckles?” It wasn’t a question. Arthur knew. But it brought everybody’s attention to them. Percival could feel their confusion, but he wouldn’t dare pull his gaze away from his king’s. They stared at each other for an indeterminate amount of time. Percival couldn’t bring himself to speak. Arthur didn’t blink. Nobody moved. 

The stillness was broken by Merlin, as it always was. “Arthur…” His voice was barely above a whisper. 

Arthur held up a hand to stop him. “Did you, Sir Percival, hit Merlin? Was  _ that _ ,” he pointed to Merlin’s face, “your doing?”

Percival finally pulled his eyes away from Arthur to look at Merlin. Gwen was clutching his shirt in her hand and Merlin was looking back and forth between Arthur and Percival rapidly. Percival could tell he was about to lie. He was about to make an excuse to try and spare Percival, because that’s just how Merlin was. He’s so  _ good _ . Sometimes Percival thought he was more noble than any of them. He steeled himself.

He would not let Merlin get him out of this. He wronged his friend and he needed to take responsibility for his actions. 

He looked back at Arthur and answered steadily, “Yes.”

Arthur was out of his seat immediately. He grabbed Percival’s chainmail and yanked him out of his seat roughly before slamming him into the wall. Percival could hear both Merlin and Gwen yelling Arthur’s name in fright. The other knights looked too shocked to move. Gwaine, who had been sitting beside him, was looking right at him. He looked lost, like he wasn’t sure how to react. 

“Tell me,  _ Sir Percival _ , what gives you the right to lay a hand on an unarmed citizen of this kingdom?”

“ _ Arthur _ .” The voice belonged to Merlin, but Arthur wasn’t done. 

“What, exactly, makes you think that striking a citizen of this kingdom, a member of my household, someone who is  _ supposed to be _ your friend, is okay? Well? You  _ attack _ -”

“God’s sake, Arthur, he didn’t  _ attack _ me! Let go and  _ calm down _ .” A hand grasped Arthur’s arm and pulled insistently until Arthur let go of Percival and stepped back. He was breathing heavily, still visibly enraged. Gwen put a calming hand on his chest. Merlin stood in between them and Percival. He looked agitated. 

“Merlin, why are you  _ defending him _ for striking you and then making you lie-”

“He did not  _ make me lie _ , I am perfectly capable of making the decision to lie on my own-”

“This kind of thing can’t stand, Merlin-”

“Nobody is asking it to stand, I’m just telling you to stop for a second and-”

“I swear to God, Merlin, if you say ‘calm down’ I will-” 

“Okay, that is enough! From both of you!” Gwen cut in, sounding every bit the Queen she was. “Everybody needs to calm down. Sit down, all of you.” Once everybody had retaken their seats, Gwen turned to Percival. When she caught his gaze he could see the barest hint of steel and anger, hidden behind her queenly facade. “Now, Percival, explain what happened.  _ Everything _ .”

Percival cleared his throat. He could feel Gwaine’s eyes boring into the side of his head. When he glanced over at him, his breath caught. The look on Gwaine’s face was one of utter betrayal. 

He looked back at his queen. He desperately wanted to stand, because it felt like he was on trial, and he should be standing when incriminating himself; but his queen gave an order and he dared not defy her.

“I can make no excuses, Your Majesty. I was angry and upset and I lashed out. Merlin just happened to be there, and he paid the price. I… cannot voice my shame.”

“You’re forgetting the part where I startled you. That’s important,” Merlin interjected before anybody else could speak. He turned toward Arthur determinedly. “It was an accident, Arthur. Just an accident.”

The silence that followed was stifling. Gwen seemed to be waiting for Arthur to speak, but Arthur was too busy trying to control his temper to even open his mouth. Nobody else dared utter a word. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Gwen spoke. “It was an accident?”

Percival nodded. “Yes, My Lady.” 

“And have you apologized?”

Percival looked down in shame. “No, My Lady.”

“Well,” Arthur’s voice was tight and angry. “I suggest you start with that, unless you fancy yourself  _ not _ a knight anymore.” 

Percival looked Merlin in the eyes and held there for the first time since he hit him. “I am so, incredibly sorry, Merlin. I should have apologized immediately- I should have not done it, but… I have no excuse. I’m sorry. I wish to earn your forgiveness any way I can. You name it and I will do it.”

Merlin smiled softly at Percival. “All is forgiven, Percival. I know what happened and I do not blame you. It’s alright.”

“It’s  _ not _ alright, Merlin.” Percival and Arthur said simultaneously. Arthur stared at Percival for many long moments before abruptly standing. 

“We will discuss your punishment later, once I am not tempted to cast you out. Until then, you do not leave this castle. In fact, don’t even leave your chambers. You are not to participate in training or patrols until I say so.” With that, knowing Percival would not dare disobey, Arthur swept hastily out of the room, followed by Gwen and Merlin a few steps behind. 

Merlin paused as he passed Percival. “I’ll try to keep the punishment from being too harsh. He’ll be more rational once he’s calmed down.”  
“You really shouldn’t, Merlin. I deserve it.” Percival shook his head. 

Merlin narrowed his eyes at him. “What you deserve right now is a long talk, which  _ will _ happen later. Don’t even try to get out of it. You don’t deserve to be banished for something as small as this.”

“I’m sorry.”

“And I forgive you. Truly. We’ll discuss it later.”

Percival didn’t doubt that they would have a long talk later, just as he didn’t doubt that Merlin had truly already forgiven him. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you looked at it, Percival knew that Merlin’s forgiveness would be the easiest earned.

Taking a deep breath, Percival turned back to the remaining occupants of the room. Gwaine was still seated, slumped in his chair, staring at Percival. Leon had stood when Arthur had departed. He was also looking at Percival. Elyan was staring at hands, a grimace on his face.

Gwaine’s look of betrayal was rapidly morphing into one of rage. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t seem to get the words out. His hand was clenched into a tight fist, his knuckles pure white. 

“Gwaine,” Percival began. Gwaine held up a finger and turned his head away, jaw clenched so tight Percival could see his pulse thrumming frantically. He stood so hard his chair knocked backwards. He walked so close to Percival that he could feel the smaller man’s breath on his face.

“My best friend.” Gwaine stared him right in the eyes, never blinking, his mouth curling in a snarl. “The person I value the most in this world. His face is black and blue. Because of you. The only reason you’re not on the ground right now with my sword in your arm is because Merlin doesn’t want you to be.” Gwaine leaned in impossibly closer. “He says the word and, Arthur’s ruling be damned, you will be.” Gwaine stepped back, his expression showing some of the earlier betrayal and a hint of hurt. “You were my brother, Percival, but make no mistake. Merlin is my  _ family _ .” 

Percival knew better than to speak, lest Gwaine actually follow through on his threat. Percival had no doubt that he would; Merlin had always been the closest to Gwaine, and Gwaine had always had a softer spot for Merlin than for anybody else. All he could do was watch helplessly as Gwaine stormed from the room with a jug of wine, feeling a cord snap in his heart as he lost another brother.

Elyan followed quickly, never looking at Percival. Leon looked at him with such a disappointed look. He escorted Percival back to his chambers quietly, but stopped him before he could enter.

“Just let him calm down. Well, both of them, really. They’ll forgive you eventually.”

Percival shook his head. “Maybe Arthur, but Gwaine won’t. It’s Merlin.”

Leon looked pained. “Gwaine is… very loyal to Merlin. If Merlin has forgiven you, he will, too.”

“And what about you, Leon? What do you think about all this?”

Leon spoke carefully. “Merlin is a friend. But so are you. I’ve trained you, and with you. I know your character, Percival, and I know that this was an accident. But you have to work to make up for it, just as any other.” 

Percival nodded, grateful for Leon’s honesty and practical thinking. He entered his chambers and settled in for a long wait.

 

\--

 

Percival was in his chambers for three days before he got a reprieve. A knock on his door had him warily getting up from his seat where he was polishing his sword and walking to the door. He knew the person on the other side of the door would be Arthur. Nobody else had been by to see him besides a few servants who brought him his meals, and it was nowhere near time dinner time. 

Taking a deep breath, Percival opened the door, mentally preparing to leave Camelot.

Arthur stood before him, face stony. 

“Come in, Sire.” Percival felt a small amount of pride at how steady his voice was compared to the hoof beats of his heart.

Arthur walked in and ordered Percival to sit. 

“Sir Percival, you have admitted to disrespecting a member of my household by striking him unprovoked. For this, you will spend one night in the dungeons and then you will be on only night patrols for a week. You will attend training, but you will not participate. You will sit on the far side of the field and help the other knights with their armor and weapons. After the week is up, things will return to normal and this incident will  _ not _ be repeated. Are we clear?”

Percival nodded vigorously. “Yes, Sire. Thank you, Sire.” Percival couldn’t help but notice how all of these punishments kept him away from Arthur and, by extension, Merlin. Had Merlin changed his mind about forgiving Percival? Did he think Percival would hurt him again? The mere thought made Percival feel sick. Or was it Arthur who didn’t want Percival near? Both options hurt, but at least with Arthur he could deal with it; he didn’t think he could handle Merlin’s rejection, no matter how deserved, even after what he did.

Arthur stared at him for a moment before his shoulders dropped. “I know you didn’t do it on purpose, Percival. I know that. But… I can’t have one of my knights striking a civilian. And, more importantly, I can’t have one of my friends hurting another. I don’t  _ want _ a friend like that. Tell me you’re not that type of person, Percival.”

“A few days ago, I would have. Now… I’m not so sure.”

Arthur gave Percival a long, calculating look. “I don’t think you are. But you’ll have to prove it.”

Percival dropped to his knees in front of his king. “I promise, My Lord, I will do everything in my power to prove myself to be a worthy knight and friend.”

Arthur gave a sharp nod and left.

Percival stayed on his knees, feeling the weight of all that he had caused, and now had to prove, settle on his shoulders like a promise. He was just about to get up when his door opened again, and Percival was glad that he was still on the ground, otherwise he would have fallen at the sight of Merlin, his face slightly healed, standing in front of him. 

Merlin closed Percival’s door lightly and turned to face him. He quirked an eyebrow. “What are you doing on the floor?”

“Trying to be a better friend,” came out before Percival could think about it. Merlin’s expression became even more confused, so Percival just shook his head and stood up, gesturing for Merlin to sit at the table behind him. 

“Does Arthur know you’re here?”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Of course not. He told me I wasn’t allowed to be alone with you at all, so I snuck here. It’s not that difficult.”

“And why did you come here, Merlin?”

“To talk to you. I know that what you did was not on purpose. I also know that you blame yourself for it. I’m not going to try to convince you that it wasn’t your fault, because I know from experience that that doesn’t work. What I am going to do is get a promise from you.”

“I swear, Merlin, I will never lay a hand on you again, no matter what.”

“Good to know, but not what I meant.” Merlin shifted toward him and held his gaze intently. “The reason that this whole situation happened is because you bottled up what you were feeling until you overflowed and lashed out.”

“I always get away from people-”

“That’s not a solution, Percival. That’s part of the problem. Don’t bottle things up; we know what the result will be. When you start to feel like that again-- _ not  _ when you’re already overwhelmed--I want you to come and talk to me. I don’t care what either of us are doing. You come talk to me, get it out in a productive way. Don’t hold it in. It’s not good for you.” He smirked. “Or me.” 

Percival cringed. “Too soon, Merlin.”

Merlin grinned. “Sorry.”

“Okay. I promise. It… it won’t get this bad again, I swear.”

“Good.” Merlin grinned at him and lounged back in his chair.

Percival studied Merlin long enough for his smile to fade. “They all love you. Arthur, Gwaine, Leon… they all care for you so deeply. Even Elyan. And you know them all so well. It’s like…” Percival paused, considering. “You have all these stories with the others, about how you met and usually saved their lives. They all trust you with their lives, which, I have to admit, I always found odd. Lancelot always had this steadfast faith in you, in the same way he had for Arthur. I always wondered what it was… how they all came to the same conclusion. Now, well. I guess this is our origin story.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Have a blessed day.


End file.
